Life and Death

Yesterday I celebrated the 9th birthday of my only child. Directly after that, at about midnight, I found out that someone had passed away. This is someone I had grown up knowing all through highschool, and she'd been like a second grandmother to me; especially since one of my grandmothers died when I was a baby, and the other passed on when I was still in highschool.

So you can imagine how eerie that feels, to celebrate life and have a death right behind it. Granted yes, life and death happen everyday, and it's a part of life, but when it's someone you know, or someone you're close to, it sets a really eerie tone. That whole circle of life deal.

Of course, when someone passes you also celebrate their life, and you do your best to focus on the fact that they led a full life while they were in this world, and she did. She lived to see her children and grandchildren grow up, and I think that's as important as anything else.

But this also reminds me that we are all getting... well, I hate to use the word older, so I will just say that at some point, our parents and grandparents are not going to be here. It seems so selfish when you think about how you couldn't imagine life without them, because they brought you into this world, and you take for granted that they'll always be here, and you push those other thoughts out of your mind. The ones that tell you that, physically speaking, one day they won't be there.

But we are selfish aren't we? We want our parents and grandparents to live forever and always be there, and we get so caught up in the flesh that we forget about the spirit. They WILL always be there for you. You may not be able to see them, or hug them, or kiss them hello, but they don't stop being there for you just because they've left their bodies behind.

Of course yes, this sounds great, but it doesn't sound so great when your grieving. I'm not necessarily grieving per say, but I am sad that I will not see her again, in this lifetime. The last time I saw her was a couple of years ago. I am not sad, because I know she's no longer suffering. She lived through cancer, then lived through the onset of aging, and arthritis, and then cancer again. I think towards the end she was ready to move on, and I am happy that her spirit is in a better place.