Sex, Celibacy, and Sexuality

I'm going to share something with all of you, that you may or may not know about me:

I've been sex free for a while now... erm.... like as in years. Why? Personal reasons that are well... personal. No, there's nothing wrong with me, I just made a choice not to have sex. Which would seem odd to anyone who knows me, because I talk about sex a lot, and well.... I love sex, sex is great.... I'm just not having any. And I'm okay with that, for the moment. There are times when I think about going off my no sex sabbatical.... but um.. honestly? There's NOTHING here that is of any interest to my vagina.

I can also tell you that I have absolutely NO hang ups about sex or sexuality, and I don't have problems talking about it either, nor do I think anyone should. I can say that the more judgmental beings on this planet, and the excessively religious, look down on discussing sex and sexuality so freely, and automatically equate women who openly discus sex, with being easy, whorish... insert insult here: _______ I've been called many a name in the past, it really doesn't phase me.

It's really sad actually, that people still feel this way, but it isn't going to stop me from discussing sex, and/or sexuality, and/or the fact that I think penises are neat. And if me discussing sex so openly makes me a whore, well then I'm a failure as a whore for the simple fact that, as stated above, ain't nothin goin on in my love tunnel.

Not counting masturbation.

*shocked gasps of horror*

Listen people, anyone who tells you they don't masturbate is either lying, or well, possibly they don't do so for spiritual reasons, but for the most part, there are quite a few people who turn their noses at the word, but when they're home alone their hands aren't exactly above the mason dixon line if you know what I'm saying.

There's nothing wrong with it, there is nothing wrong with doing it, and there is nothing wrong with NOT doing it either. But people who do engage in self love are not all freaks, perverts, etc. It could be that they just like sex and like getting off and hell, since when is getting off, a crime, and according to whom????

I'm not religious in any capacity, but I am spiritual, therefore I don't buy into the whole, sex and masturbation are filthy horrible things and if you masturbate you're going to hell. Really? Okay well then save me a front seat, I'll be back in 20 minutes; 10 if I've got Mr. Happy on high speed.

Does my talk of masturbation and sex disgust you? Awww well poor you, guess what? Don't read it then, if it disgusts you. The same people that are sooooo disgusted would probably be surprised to know that there are quite a few women that like porn. Porn is not just for men, you know. I'm no prude, I think porn is great, and I also think that some women think about sex more than men do. Don't believe me? Just ask.

And to the men (and some of you women), don't be so gosh darned mortified and shocked to hear a woman talking about sex. Seriously, get over it. And calling us names to make yourself feel better isn't really going to help much. At the end of the day I'm still going to be me, and you will still be you, why not enjoy the diversity instead of trying to convert everyone to your way of thinking? Like I've said before, I'm not trying to convert anyone, I'm just speaking my mind, you can take it any way you choose to, and how you take it, at the end of the day, is really not my concern.

Oh and yes, I hope you're sitting down... I'm a mother. Shocker! A mother with a whorish mouth to boot, God Save The Queen! So what would I say to my daughter if she read one of my blogs? Sex is a part of life, nothing to be ashamed or afraid of, ultimately when you get older you'll be faced with choices regarding sex, be wise, be safe, and don't do anything you aren't okay with doing, and keyword: OLDER!

I know a lot of parents are mortified at the thought of their precious child growing up and eventually discovering sex. I hate to break the news to you, but at some point it will happen; yes even I have issues thinking about it, but I have to deal with it just like any other parent. My advice? If your child asks you about sex, just tell them. Children are smarter than we give them credit for. Just because you talk to your child about sex does not mean they are going to run out and have sex after hearing about it. Talking to your kids about sex seems to be a topic that NOBODY wants to talk about; everyone wants to stick their head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist. That's a pretty sucky mode of thinking if you ask me.

It is my humble opinion that if you have a healthy attitude about sex, healthy meaning positive, then your children will too. And if you have a good relationship with your kids, then this is something you'll be able to talk about with them. But for crying out loud folks, this isn't the dark ages, sex isn't dirty... well it can be and there is a good kind of dirty... but let's talk about that later. I like penis, I like MY vagina, and if my daughter ever asks me what a penis is, I'll tell her that it's how she got into this world (before she came out of my vagina). Ooohhhh more shocking scandal. So enjoy yourselves folks, have sex, or don't; masturbate, or don't; live your life.

The quality of the company is more important than what your house looks like.

I've been thinking about this for a while, and what I mean by it basically is this: If I want to spend time with someone, chances are I won't care if you don't live in a mansion, don't have a maid, and your living quarters are humble.

Truth be told, I don't live in a mansion, there is no maid service here, and quite honestly I like staying at home when there's naught else to do. I know a lot of us worry about having company when our house isn't clean, or WE don't think it's clean. Chances are your best friend isn't going to care if your house isn't spotless, and a good friend will probably help you clean up as well.

Mandy blogged about this a long time ago.... where is that blog Mandy? Anyway, I was thinking about it, and her :) and just wanted to say... hey... I don't care if you live in a one room apt. or a mansion; if the quality of the company is good, it doesn't matter what the room space looks like.

The most passionate, emotionally expressive women ethnicity/nationality wise?

According to one of my inet buddies, Korean women are the most passionate, crazy, toughest women on earth. I cannot validate this, because I'm not Korean, but I can give you my top list of who I think are the most passionate, volatile, tough, fiery, tempermental, women, by nationality, if you really want to know. Keep in mind this is from my personal experience, you don't have to agree with it.

At the top of the list? West Indian, Jamaican, and Latina women. I say this because I know from experience, and because about a quarter or so of my family is from the west indies, and I can tell you that we have bad tempers, but we are also passionate lovers.

Specifically women from the islands, and from Spanish speaking areas, are/can be very passionate, in some instances possessive, and God help you if you piss them off. As for West Indian women? Well, when we're mad we like to throw things. I won't lie to you, I've broken a few items that got hulk smashed when I lost my temper; one of which was aimed at someone's head, and if you want to hear the rest of that story you'll have to message me.

African American women are also known for being erm... passionate, to say the least. Being that I am one, and my mother is as well, I can also tell you that I probably got part of my temper from her, and the other part of my temper from my paternal grandmother, god rest her soul. Keep in mind that all black women are not loud, obnoxious, ignorant females with bad attitudes, contrary to the popular stereotyping we get labeled with, and the foolishness you see on Jerry Springer and Maury. Some of us are quiet, shy, know how to mind our own business and keep to ourselves.... but don't piss us off.

So what does that mean to you guys out there that were thinking about dating women of color? It means be smart, use your brain, and be mindful of what you say to us and how you treat us. If you're intelligent enough to avoid having anything hurled directly at your noggin, you'll be fine.

2010 Welcoming Committee: Bring your mind, but make sure it's open.

There are a lot of things I do not discuss in blogs or other public forums, or even with my own family, because a lot of people are not mentally prepared or "ready" for truth and knowledge. There are, of course, also things I don't discuss because, well... they are personal! Keep in mind I discuss a lot, but not everything.

I tend to stay away from getting into heated debates with people over religion, or any damn thing really, because I believe that two people should be able to state their opinions without fighting. Everyone doesn't have to agree, the world might be boring if we all did, and with that said....

I will be blogging in the future on a lot of stuff, health related, spiritual... I don't do religion; if asked, I will tell you how I feel about religion as a whole, but I don't debate, and you aren't going to make me "see things your way" just because you think your way is the right way. But if you ask me I'll tell you.

While I won't ask anyone to change who they are, I will ask that you keep an open mind if you're going to be reading any of my blogs, and realize that there are a small percentage of us, who don't see the world the way the rest of the population does. Frankly don't look at that statement as an insult, either. That small percentage has been growing. I believe that everyone is intelligent on different levels, so I would never belittle anyone's mental capacity, but to stay on the subject, what I'm asking of my oh.... 5 readers (ROFLMBAO!!!), is to bring an open mind, and stay a while.

Blogging for me is very personal, but at the same time, this is a public blog, so... it's also a way to reach people, and of course with exposure, you're going to get all kinds, and that's fine. Hopefully people will take away something positive from reading my "thoughts", and if not? Oh well... can't please everyone.

Also keep in mind that I'm a fairly laid back, peace loving, easy going girl.... but even I have my moments. And those moments can range from emotional to evil spawn of Hades. If I'm pissed off, you'll probably know about it... and pretty quickly. Hey, I'm not perfect, but I'm cool, so long as you're cool, and you're respectful, the same will be returned.

The most important message I have for you all in this blog, is that I'm here to learn, just like everyone else, and I don't claim to know everything, but what I do know, is what I talk about. Hope to see you soon!