The Black Hole of Anal Despair

Do you suffer from deeply pigmented genitalia? Is your starfish a little darker than it's cheeky counterparts? Are those petals of love losing their lovely pink glow? Are the twig n berries needing some highlights? Well guess what? Now there's something you can do about it.

It's called anal bleaching, or in the case of non anal, genital bleaching. Yes this is a real procedure, and if you live in Cali chances are you can find someone who specializes in genitalia lightening. However, if you can't find anyone in your area to bleach your cookies, you can order the stuff directly to your home and do the deed yourself.

Apparently anal bleaching is very popular among porn stars who wanted to have a sparkling white hole, or just wanted their goodies to match the surrounding skin and be even toned, especially since those "goodies" would be on camera for all the world to see, up close and personal.

But I guess now some of us regular folks want to have pretty assholes too. Nothing wrong with that I suppose. Some women/men are self conscious about ALL aspects of their physical appearance, and want to look their best when bending over and grabbing their ankles. Perfectly fine. Personally speaking, without being TMI, I'm good thanks. I mean I realize that everyone's parts look different, some darker than others in terms of contrast to the rest of their skin color, some have perfectly even toned parts and probably have some of the most er... pleasing to the eye penises and vaginas I've ever seen; but honestly I think that sort of thing is for the complete self centered narcissist. If everything is going great for you and your genitals just happen to be darker than the rest of you, newsflash: That's normal. Quite a few men and women have whoo hoos that are darker than the rest of them, and most of the men I know don't normally care too much what color your cat is so long as you exercise proper hygeine and landscaping maintenance. And most women don't mind weiner shades either, so long as you men wash your freaking balls.

So my take on anal/genital bleaching? If you want to do it, go for it; if you're happy with your dark penis or vajayjay, then don't do it.

And just so you don't think I'm bullshitting you, here's some vids. Have a laugh on me.