You're not getting any younger, sweetheart.

Really? According to whom? You obviously don't know me; if you knew me you'd know that I'm laughing right now, and I laugh everytime someone says "you're not getting any younger". Meaning you'd better hurry up and find a man. This is not a preempted blog, by the way, it's just that I've heard both men and women say this over and over again. Why do some people seem to think a woman's happiness is solely reliant on having a man and getting married?

Not that it wouldn't be nice, but I'm not worried about it. I think about it from time to time, but I'm not worried. Besides, I am too busy right now to give a flying fart about "finding a man". I'd personally like to get my own house in order before I go desperately flying off on my broomstick in search of mister right. Notice I said broomstick.... you might think I'm playing but....

We can talk about that later. (Evil laughter) Last person I knew that "hurried up and found a man", ended up with a $20,000+ wedding, and a drug addict who landed himself in jail. The only thing I'm about to hurry up and do, is scratch my left buttcheek. I could tell you a lot about me, but there's no point in me doing that, really. All you need to know is that I am happier than I have been in oh.... years, and my life has changed a lot in the past five years. It just keeps getting better everyday, which is why I'm not concerned about the cobwebs currently taking up residence in my womb, it makes for cozy decor.

My life, quite frankly, does not revolve around getting married. Yes, I'd like to, I think marriage is friggin awesome, love is awesome, men are awesome, and so's my ass. Male anatomy is awesome too, but let's not go there right now. My advice to any females out there who are in panic mode right now because they aren't married with kids? Let it go, take care of yourself, your body/mind/spirit is YOUR NEST, take care of your nest. And when your nest is in order, everything else will happen as it should. Society will tell you, that if you are not married by age blabbity blah, you are a failure and should just jump off a cliff. Society will also tell you that the majority of the stuff on supermarket shelves is good for you. We already know the latter is not true.....

Truth is I am a defiant, stubborn, confident, emotionally volatile, intelligent, open minded, unorthodox, woman. I do not listen to people when they attempt to give me advice on how I should be living my life. Mostly because they aren't me, and they don't know what makes me tick. What does make me tick? Life. And everything in it. I curse, I talk about sex, I don't go to church. I'm everything your mother probably warned you about. And I will make your head spin if you try me.

So ladies, do you, don't worry about the men, there are plenty of them. Take care of you.

P.S. Yes I am aware that I said I was emotionally volatile. Why should I lie? Translation: Tempermental, Passionate. You do the math, and get back to me.